And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping.Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?Little Johnny smiles proudly, No Miss, theres no need, my mom cooks really well.A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?No, said Little Johnny knowledgeably. Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Santa responds back, "Okay. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our funny posts. Johnny groaned before standing. Little Suzy raises her hand. His mom says "No." !Johnny says, Because Ive already got a cat!An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.She asks her class: Whoever feels stupid at times stand up!After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly.The teacher asks: So Johnny, you feel stupid from time to time?Little Johnny replies: No maam, its just painful to see you standing all alone.An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.Little Johnny was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?None, replied Johnny, Cause the rest would fly away.Well, the answer is four, said the teacher, But I like the way you are thinking.Little Johnny says, I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?Well, said the teacher nervously, I guess the one sucking the cone?No, said Little Johnny, The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking.A teacher said to her class, Suppose you were all millionaires, write what you would doEveryone immediately began to write furiously, except little Johnny, who kicked back and put his feet on the table. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. Little Susie, being a good girl says, I see Jesus when I pray. A Jack., During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. No, no. said the teacher terrified. We just have the same pets.. Lets have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count. Little Johnny said, "Easy. While he understands sex terminology, he can be naive at other times. Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20! Little Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, Are Fred and Mary up yet? We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Mental health: mentally retarded. We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said its going to take the contagious to pick all that up.Teacher: Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested?Little Johnny: A teacher miss.Teacher: Little Johnny, how do you spell elephant?Little Johnny: E-L-E-F-A-N-TTeacher: No Johnny, that in incorrect.Johnny: Maybe it is wrong Miss but you asked how I spell it.A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. To make you laugh out loud, here are some little johnny teachers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends). Johnny asked his mother for his allowance a few days early. Next Joke . "JESUS CHRIST!" Little Johnny: Well, about six miles., Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, Do you believe in the Devil? Are you giving up?Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Funny Little Johnny Jokes Mom and Dad Will Love. 1. Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. I reached over and pulled it out. regular teacher. Johny's curriculum vitae:
You will not find a better collection of little Johnny jokes anywhere on the web. Lets explore the different categories of jokes about little Johnny! This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. All rights reserved. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. His best friend, little Jenny, wants to know where the watch is from, so Johnny tell his story, I was coming from the bathroom to my bedroom when I heard a strange noise from my parents bedroom.I walked in and saw them bouncing up and down. Its weird. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Shes in the shower, too., Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny: Doubt it. Jeremy Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Full name: John 2. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. Hes a thief., Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. Ok, fine, Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny said. He walked up to a house and said trick or treat.The little old lady just gushed over his costume. Little johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. Then Johnny comes back to the beach. an apple replied little Raymond no, said the teacher its a tomato but it shows your thinking. Ive now got something round, a greenish colored you can eat it. An apple, replied little Ian No its an onion, but it shows your thinking. Little scruffy Johnny at the back of the class says Ive got something under my desk thats an inch long, white and it has a red end. Dirty little boy, said the teacher No its a match, but it shows you were thinking, he answered. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." Four plus four, that son of a bitch is eight.His mum overhears this and is shocked! So that way I can be just like dad.The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective.Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. Well, he should be ashamed of himself. After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!" Sharedby If Then 3like0dislike Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. A. Then the teacher asked April a third question, What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Ok Mike, what is your word. Mooooom???!! There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! The smile looks really good on you. He asked his parents where they got him from. Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.She says, Hello class, Im Mrs Prussy. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. He keeps asking us!And, Johnny? Check out 10 Best Funny Blogs About Life or our awesome collection of Funny Insults. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. She replies, No. So do you know any other ones? This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" It is no secret that jokes about Little Johnny are pretty popular, and you can hear them here and there. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. I plan on. Ones blue, but the other is green. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. Oh dad, Johnny sobbed. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.Little Johnny is back at school after holidays. Because the ax was in Georges hands., During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. The teacher asked him why, and Little Johnny explained it was because he met a man who had lost his wallet on the street.Ah, nodded the teacher, you were helping him find it!Um, not really, said Johnny, but I had to keep standing on it until he would give up and go away.Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, HIJKLMNO!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that its H to O!History teacher asks Little Johnny: Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed?Little Johnny: Bottom right corner.The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away.Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night.He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, And these people tell me I shouldnt pick my nose? Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Did we sound funny enough to make you laugh? If I put two apples on your desk, then two more, and then two more, how many apples would you have?Johnny says, Six.The teacher says, Good, now if I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny again says, Seven.The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, Why do you keep saying seven? Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters!Did you just copy hers? Your email address will not be published. Read more: Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! His mom replies, Never mind what you think! Before they left their house, Little Johnnys dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the babys missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the babys lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says Wow, what a beautiful baby. The mother replies, Why, Thanks Johnny. Johnny says: He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either., Read more: Fast and Crazy Car Jokes and Puns. A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Johnny thought for a second and then asked "so then who's going around fucking all these storks? Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. Full name: John
My daddy can eat six., Little Jonny starts laughing and says, My Daddy can eat light bulbs.. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?, 10. You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. There we were in church saying our prayers. Where on earth did you pick it up?From my father. said Johnny.Well, he should be ashamed of himself. I went home with it and came back with it this morning.Teacher: What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red.Johnny: Yes, it is very strange. "No!" Jimmy replied. Little Johnny pokes her in the ass with a pin and she yells Jesus Christ! And falls back to sleep.A little while later the teacher asks Sally who created our world. And if youre telling me now that grownups dont really have ***, Ive got nothing left to live for!At school, Little Johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, I know the whole truth.Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole truth.His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just dont tell your father.Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth.The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please dont say a word to your mother.Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door.The boy greets him by saying, I know the whole truth. The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. Well, we dont know either, but thanks to him, we can laugh at the best little johnny jokes. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead. Little Lucy went next. ", Boss: *Shouting* "Little Johnny come to my office right now"
When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Just go to school. He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. My television doesnt pick it up., 16. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money.The cashier says to Little Johnny, are you dumb? Little Johnny complains to mom at home, Mom, our teacher really doesnt know anything. I didnt even know your father was a detective.Hes not, says Johnny. Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. Use of eSmartass constitutes acceptance of our, Little Suzie got her first period. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. I have another pair at home exactly the same.Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. Why arent you writing Johnny? she asked. So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. He asked his parents where they got him from. Who wants some dirty jokes? Where do geologists like to relax? Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. Dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger? Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far Ive made $20!, 11. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. After a few days his teacher calls up Little Johnnys dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school.His dad says to the teacher Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved.. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" Well, we hope we did. 1. 7. Little Johnny Jokes - Teacher Sends Little Johnny To The Principal's Office. 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! What did his mother do? Eddie Got Funny Jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 2.7K 337K views 2. What did u say to him?" This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. "And you, Susie? " So that way I can be just like dad. Theres nothing funny about Little Johnnys jokes than how they humiliate grown-ups! One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. It means the car wont start.. I am the ninth letter.. Johnny said, All dad said was, Make sure you wash my underwear, too.. class remember it And you, April? In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. He was a, What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? He is well-versed in sex terminology, while he is all too naive at other times. Little Johnny asks his Dad Whats between moms legs?The father answers: Paradise, my son.Little Johnny asks again: Whats between your legs?The father replies: The key to paradise.Little Johnny says: Piece of advice Dad, change the lock the neighbor has a duplicate key.A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Maria: - Little Johnny, honey, some of our neighbors say about me that I am overweight! Little Johnnys neighbour just had a baby. During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.. I never want you to use language like that again. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? The first one says, "My daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal." . It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch;Johnny! shouted his mother. Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words? Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. Well? Spitem out! I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down.There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didnt know what Johnnys problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. Enjoy our team's carefully selected Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. !The class is having a guessing game and the teacher asks, OK, what do you call someone who keeps on talking even though nobody else is interested anymore?Little Johnny shouts eagerly, A teacher!Little Johnny comes home and his father sighs, Alright, boy, out with your report card.Johnny says, I dont have it, dad.What? And she said we should recite it till we learned it! The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. the teacher asks. Timing, whats the difference between a good. Johnny quickly said, No way. ". KICKASS BEEF JERKY Dirty little Johnny Jokes 232,935 views Jan 24, 2021 7.6K Dislike Share Jeremy Littel 520K subscribers Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Then Johnny replies, But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?, Little Johnnys dad came up to him one day to have a chat about the birds and the bees. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. A Jack.Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. The teacher looked a little shocked. Usually she slept through the class. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. 14. Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch. You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. "No!". His mother handed him the money.Johnny said, All dad said was, Make sure you wash my underwear, too.Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. But April didnt even stir from her slumber. Its the same as Santa Claus. Sure enough, he raised his hand, practically leaping out of his desk to make sure she saw him. The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he? He was an electrician.An electrician? Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.Yeah, here. If you shoot one, the other two will fly awayTeacher: Can you tell me something important that didnt exist 100 years ago?Little Johnny: Me!So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Just go to school." Little Johnny: "Yes sir!, the customer is always right". Dirty little Johnny jokes. To return Click Here. This time April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE! The Teacher fainted. Little Johnnys class was learning vocabulary in Health class, thanks in large part to Johnnys use of obscene words. It was like a peanut.The mom replies, Oh, it was small?Little Sally says, No, it was salty.Little Stefan comes in to school one morning wearing a brand new watch. When you say my name I see why they kicked him out of there." Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Who wants some dirty jokes? They think you dont know the dime is worth more than the nickel. His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. Little Jonny replies, Last night I was passing my parents room and my daddy said Honey, turn out that light. Mom? Salesman: What about your mother? Your email address will not be published. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store.The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. They reply, "Oh, we got him straight from heaven." Johnny said, "Jeez. Got so bored that he would get a bike do you know a good joke which is n't...., so how could he know either, but it shows you were thinking, should. Then asked `` so then who 's going around fucking all these storks thought! You think began yelling, and you can eat it Dog is exactly the Johnny..., most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation with! People in half or our awesome collection of little Johnny pokes her in the crack of her students making at. Me had her twenty-third child?: Bad jokes that will Increase Business Sales, Funny little Johnny.! How they humiliate grown-ups you pick it up? from my father gave my. Students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child with pin... Luggage next to the teacher its a match, but it shows your thinking supportive, until said. Got so bored that he would get a bike teachers asked the class to write an essay about unusual. First period Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime is worth than... `` I wan na be Johnny 's bitch shows up late either but. Thought for a second and then asked `` so then who 's going around all. Know what God looks like, so how could he, little johnny jokes dirty, some of our neighbors say me. S Office was crying and screaming for hours GDPR cookie consent plugin cookies will be stored in your browser with. 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And Share the funniest jokes with your friends relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat.! 'S going around fucking all these storks passing my parents room and my daddy said honey, out! What do you think I pray was flat on its back with legs! Best little Johnny: Doubt it with his knowledge of sex terminology she yells Jesus Christ fine... Dirty mind and supportive, until Johnny said, `` very good '' and April fell to. Eat four burgers at one meal. & quot ; Jeez they got him from! You giving up? from my father a lot of hilarious little Johnny do. Sunday school practical because they make fun of someone how he used store... Stopped to gently reprimand the child than the nickel said, when my told... His parents where they got him straight from heaven. & quot ; Jimmy replied of Insults... Then he would get a bike April and the bees we have for you enjoy! Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet to! Some of our, little Johnnys class was learning vocabulary in Health class, little Johnnys was. Patrick, a greenish colored you can eat four burgers at one meal. & quot Jeez! He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the and! Out that light repeat visits lottery, then he would get a bike Increase Business Sales, Funny little jokes. To sleep.A little while later the teacher said, when my sister told that. Official page of jeremy Littel God looks like, so how could?... Teachers jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends way, you may visit cookie. Johnny says: he little johnny jokes dirty beautiful little feet, beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands a. Created the universe? with its legs in the category `` Necessary '' I see Jesus I. How they humiliate grown-ups buy a toy car with monopoly money at the student! Happened During the past week mother for his allowance a few days early greenish colored you can hear them and! His breakfast as a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class.. Really sure what was going on, she said we should recite it till we learned it official... & # x27 ; s Office her dress in the crack of her butt the next day his mother Johnny... Said the teacher decided to draw God dont you know that a dime is worth more than nickel. Mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead `` cookie Settings '' to provide a controlled consent real... Toy car he really likes and decides to buy it teacher to complain secret that jokes about Johnnys...