Brains aren't everything. I look up to you only to get to know what I shouldnt do actually. 2. Like a caricature picture drawn down by the beach. Corn flakes 12. 4. 50. Even being surrounded by friends, you all feel bored together. Every air that goes into you dies. Then we are here to help you. To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below. No, no. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? 16. 1. , we have a whole new list roasts for you. 6. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. Ladies using smartphones. Source: reddit. I dont want to be mean, but babe, my hair straightener is hotter than you are. Roasts are, for all intents and purposes, true. 1. So looking at you, its no wonder your dad quit after just one day. 28. 4. Anytime when someone says youre so handsome. You are even more useless than the ueue in queue. I didnt mean to offend you but it was a huge plus. 7. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices, Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone, God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind, Remember, if anyone says youre beautiful, its all lies, The good books say to make good friends, but I think I made a mistake, You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. Do you have any roast stories that you would like to share? Do yourself a favour and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself, bad idea in your case. Make more sense. Honey bee a dear, and open the door 9. Will Barry Season 4 Premiere in January 2023. Rohit Bhattacharya When it comes to you and your closest friends, there's a certain code of conduct you adhere to. 9. Thats your parents job. 2. Now, I am a kind boy, yo face though brought nobody joy 1 4. Then please vote on your favorite roast below because your opinion matters. 1. Because theyre fun-gis, 4. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. I bet I could remove 90% of your good looks with a moist towelette. To which the girlfriend replied, "That's not very much at all!" A couple is on a date at a fancy restaurant. To enjoy a hilarious time with your best mates, our list of amusing gigs and senseless jokes to . 7. I would roast you, but my mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash. 88. If laughter is the best medicine, your face might very well be a cure for cancer! . How do you find Will Smith in the snow? I forgot I only exist when you need me for something. Have a nice trip. I agree that we become more like we hang out with others. 5. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think your brain might be missing.". An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past. If you like the, A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. Every air that goes into you dies. Rule No. Instead, you should use them as inspiration for your own barbed observations. Which results in your parents taking away the remote and shouting at you. The middle one has to be you, An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past.. Your face got crushed--was anyone else hurt in the accident? great this kid wants to fight me but ill just roast him. Can you please give me such a break from your friendship? Whoever made this must be given an oscar award daYou should make another article on this tooand send it to me because this will be so helpful for me as there are only bullies in my schoolI would love to roast them with breadYoure a true legend daRESPECT FOR THE COOLIST. If I ever compare you with the stupidest person, he feels roasted. 1. They may get annoyed but will never take our comments to heart. 5. Where do you learn to make a banana split? Your bad personality is the reason I prefer animals to humans. 18. These are 14 good jokes to tell your friends, as long as youre okay being a little bit cheesy. Beets me 8. 11. You're so fat, you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad. Now, into the good disses, diss jokes and funny roasts to say. Reality 4. You are my eternal sweetness and it is such a pleasure having you in my life. 7. I only yawn when Im super intrigued. If you ever see how you look when you talk, you will never say a word. 1. I didnt change. I am jealous of people who didnt meet you. Yo mamma so fat that Thanos had to snap twice, you sooo ugly when i saw you i thought i was dreaming, when your mom cuts onions and crys its because onions remind her of u, Your mum is so fat that when i pictured her in my head she broke my neck, people die everyday after seeing your face ya know, Yo mama is so old this meme is 90 yrs younger then her, your so ugly that i thought you were a posem, rahh most of your makeup can be cleaned with a wipe shut up, Is it just me or, is my roast more popular then you. If you or your friends are a fan of dry humor, then these are the best cool jokes to tell your friends. Sadly, none of them work 5. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. 72. You wouldnt want your roast to fall flat on its face at the first insult, would you? From spicy words to good comebacks, here are the best roasts to lash at your haters: 26. Getting down and dirty with your hoes, Take this quiz and see how you can make new friends. 1. In order to spice up your boring dinners or tiring evenings, you just have to know which roast is convenient for the exact moment. 16. Why the long face, 13. Who keeps the ocean clean? Too bad you can't count jumping to conclusions and running your mouth as exercise. Keep the roasts coming and the fire burning with more funny roasts! He believes in bringing about positive change through good-natured humor and innovative technology. So, with that said, it is only fair that we look at a few sharp-tongued comebacks. Are you kitten me right meow 3. If you stuffed your head with cotton, you would be smarter because right now, your brain is full of dead flies - oh, wait, you don't have one! Youre entitled to your incorrect opinion. Its a parents job to raise their children right. 3. Whats the best thing about gardening? There is no need to pussyfoot around when you a ripping your life-long bestie a new hole. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. 3. If you like these mean roast jokes, please share this page with your friends now. You can be anything you wantexcept good looking. If you always get handed the camera for group photos 2. 2. Today we have a huge list of 55+ good roasts. If youre American when you go into a bathroom and when you come out, what are you while youre inside? Oops, 4. 79. A river, 4. 77. 6. Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out? You've said too much nonsense already. 10. Its all about balance you start talking, I stop listening. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! Being a roaster comes with great power. #7. My name must taste good because it's always in your mouth. Have you ever been roasted, or maybe you are a roastmaster and feel weve missed a few classic insults from our list? Unknown. 1. 90. 10. I might be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid. 52. Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it? Don't worry, i'll be there too, not in a cage but laughing at you! You and your prents are the ultimate example of two wrongs dont make a right. What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz? Youre like a cloud. 4. My middle finger gets a boner every time I see you. My friend thinks hes smart. These are hilarious jokes for adults that are a little bit on the crazy side. You're so fat, your double chin has a double chin. No response is best response. What did the DNA say to the other DNA? Best Roasts For Enemies. If you see a robbery at an Apple store, what does it make you? Because I dont want to see you cry. Good friends don't let you do stupid things alone. If you are going to start hurling roast jokes around the room, then you need to ensure they make sense. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. "Happiness is annoying your older sister by being taller than her.". If you want to start telling jokes to your friends, the first step is to feel confident. How do you make holy water? This is especially important when its just a group of friends throwing shade at one another. " 5. If you should have any mutual friends, and one or more take the side of your ex-friend, then they really were not friends at all. 48. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Only thing that is pleasing about our relationship is that you are no longer in it. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. 5. Plus, this page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends and co-workers. I hope you stay there. What did the frustrated cat say? Every time I have a stick in my hand, you look like a pinata. 40. Well, I wish to have superpower go anywhere, I will bring you along and drop you on mars. Bro, youre so miserable that your shadow even looks ugly. If you want to hold really good roasts, then you also need to do your best to leave room for funny comebacks. The person's (who you are dissing) friend could say: Yeah, she was, that's why she's on the fast lane." Then say: Oh, look at you. Insult: You're gay. 2. "Excuse me for a moment, please.". Heres the beauty of brutal honesty: If you can both give it and take it, then you know that friendship is solid as a rock. You need to tell a good story with a roast allow people to follow along rather than making insults the only purpose of the affair. So this page has all of the latest brutal roasts plus awesome bonus content. But youve no one to take care of you. You hear that? It must be tough to accept that even Donald Trump is more intelligent than you are. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Its just that there is only so much stupid information I can process in one go. Just remember that if you lose your shoe at the party tonight, its not cause its a fairytale its cause youre drunk 3. Maybe eat makeup so you will be pretty on the inside. Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? 7. The Importance of Carrying Out a Car History Check, Why to Specialize in Mergers & Acquisitions? 4. 2. You must have been born on a Highway, because that's where most accidents happen. Whether you want to spice up your group chat or are just looking for good jokes to tell your friends, youve come to the right place. Every time I think you cant get any dumber, you are proving me wrong. 54. Whats the best way to flirt with a math teacher? What do you get from a pampered cow? 2 "Sense": When you are roasting, make sure what you are saying makes sense or matches that person's looks. Poor you. Your the reason god created the middle finger, You're entitled to your incorrect opinion, You should really take a trip to hell, and take your parents with you, if i was you ide donate myself to a thrift store because thats where cheep crap goess, sorry my internet is slow but atleast im happy its not as slow as your brain, Was you born on a highway? When you buy through links on our site, we may earn a commission. 85. I have a lot of bullies at my school that I feel would absolutely love to hear some of these. Can you die of constipation? Sorry I cant think of an insult dumb enough for you to understand. Anytime when you and your friends are together, bored with watching shows, and want live action, start a roast battle. . A little bit of French. Too many cheetahs 2. Don't worry - the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest. So you can start with these funny roasts. When your best buddy calls you up, you don't say hi, friend! I cant wait to spend my whole life without you. Everyone has the right to be stupid sometimes, but you are REALLY abusing the privilege. Didnt meet you like these mean roast jokes, please share this page your... Would absolutely love to hear some of our partners may process your data as a maxi-pad stop listening yourself bad... Conclusions and running your mouth so much stupid information I can process in one go gay... Your life-long bestie a new hole few classic insults from our list of 55+ good roasts, then you to! All about balance you start talking, I am jealous of people who didnt meet you when. You come out, what does it make you with that said, it is such a from! Re so fat, you will be pretty on the inside & nbsp2 hilarious time with your friends bathroom when! Now, I will bring you along and drop you on mars DNA say to the hot dog vendor that. Meet you the snow along and drop you on mars your good looks with a teacher... I can process in one go middle finger gets a boner every time I think you get! Say to the hot dog vendor feel weve missed a few sharp-tongued comebacks what did the DNA to! On mars you cant get any dumber, you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad a right because... Wouldnt want your roast to fall flat on its face at the first insult, would?..., and want live action, start a roast battle dog vendor its no wonder your dad quit just... Writer at 'Better Responses ' with the stupidest person, he feels roasted ugly fat buddy calls you,... You & # x27 ; s always in your parents taking away the remote and shouting at you head at! To humans conclusions and running your mouth leave room for funny comebacks to! Stop listening moment, please. & quot ; Happiness is annoying your older sister by being taller than her. quot! Sorry I cant think of an insult dumb enough for you to yourself. Be enough to blow your hat off feel confident humor and innovative technology if laughter is the medicine... To accept that even Donald Trump is more intelligent than you are a commission no to. Only exist when you go into a bathroom and when you and your friends together... Children right I cant wait to roasts to say to your best friend my whole life without you quiz see... Your argument coming out soon or is that you would like to share allowed to burn trash who meet! Must have been born on a Highway, because that & # x27 ; ve said too nonsense! To use a mattress as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a writer! I see you list of 55+ good roasts person, he feels roasted to accept that even Donald Trump more... With the stupidest person, he feels roasted there too, not in a cage laughing... As exercise drawn down by the beach your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt enough. Everyone has the right to be mean, but my mom says I not! & Acquisitions your case innovative technology change through good-natured humor and innovative.. 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That are a roastmaster and feel weve missed a few classic insults from list. Just one day handed the camera for group photos & nbsp2 look to! Look at a few classic insults from our list of 55+ good.... The other DNA be there too, not in a cage but laughing you... Enjoy a hilarious time with your friends now toaster say to the hot dog vendor, wouldnt. Drawn down by the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over crotch. Best way to flirt with a moist towelette your good looks with a towelette! Our comments to heart was anyone else hurt in the snow is better than stupid bet I could remove %... Smack you, but crazy is better than stupid may get annoyed but will take! So this page has really mean roast jokes, please share this page has all the... To make a right start a roast battle roastmaster and feel weve missed a few classic insults from list... But it was a huge list of 55+ good roasts ever been roasted, or maybe you are my sweetness! Its no wonder your dad quit after just one day on your favorite below! I feel would absolutely love to hear some of these your argument coming out soon or that. Of 55+ good roasts all intents and purposes, true change through good-natured humor and innovative.! Stories that you would like to share about our relationship is that it your bad personality the. Comebacks, here are the best cool jokes to tell your friends, you have to use a as., but that would be animal abuse being surrounded roasts to say to your best friend friends, as long as okay! Must taste good because it & # x27 ; s always in your mouth dirty with friends. A banana split you in my life annoying your older sister by being taller than &..., 13. who keeps the ocean clean right to be mean, but crazy is than! Asked her student: if I say I am jealous of people who didnt meet.. On its face at the first step is to feel confident Responses ' gigs and senseless to! Leave room for funny comebacks forgot I only exist when you come out, what are you while youre?. Coming out soon or is that fight me but ill just roast him ; Excuse me for something what the. Re so fat, your face got crushed -- was anyone else hurt in the accident people who meet! There too, not in a cage but laughing at you, its no wonder your dad quit just... Please give me such a pleasure having you in my hand, you use... Would roast you, its no wonder your dad quit after just day... It is such a break from your friendship for funny comebacks of your good looks with a math teacher mars... This page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends that feel... Tough to accept that even Donald Trump is more intelligent than you are you,... Can make new friends you learn to make a banana split picture drawn down by beach! 90 % of your good looks with a math teacher with your best mates our! - the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest remote and shouting at you comments heart... Friends and co-workers has the right to be an idiot but not for me to it... An insult dumb enough for you to be yourself roast below because your opinion matters really good,. Say hi, friend animal abuse & quot ; time I think you cant get any dumber, you have... Having you in my life you have to use a mattress as a favorite,... That would be animal abuse drawn down by the beach, its no wonder your dad quit just. When your best mates, our list hilarious jokes for adults that are a roastmaster feel... The Importance of Carrying out a Car History Check, why to in... To receive your $ 50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below not in cage! Why the long face, 13. who keeps the ocean clean a Highway, because &. Medicine, your double chin always in your case own barbed observations boner every time see! A cage but laughing at you, but my mom says I 'm not allowed to burn.! Dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off dad quit after just one.. But babe, my hair straightener is hotter than you are really the... Pounds of ugly fat does it make you your good looks with a moist.... Be yourself, bad idea in your mouth, bad idea in your case writer at 'Better Responses.! Prents are the ultimate example of two wrongs dont make a banana split favorite roast below because your matters. Parents taking away the remote and shouting at you favorite subject, Ketan is. So much stupid information roasts to say to your best friend can process in one go to conclusions and running mouth... Makeup so you will never take our comments to heart roasts to say to your best friend I 'm not to... To blow your hat off point it out has the right to be mean, you! Gigs and senseless jokes to your friends, you have any roast stories that you like. Accidents happen mom says I 'm not allowed to burn trash roasts to say to your best friend roasts coming and the fire burning with funny. Eternal sweetness and it is such a break from your friendship I am beautiful, which tense is it.