A buffer between Partridge and the people he comes in to contact with. Felicity Montagu is coming back to play the tormented character. I was supposed to hit that later. Michael: Right. Its like being inside a huge Foxs Glacier Mint, which, again, is a bonus to me. Striker! Just stop it!" If you're ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say 'My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I'm late, I just popped to the toilet. A tough guy! Oh, I sound like the devil. [Inspecting the bathroom in a house he wishes to purchase]. Later, when Alan actually meets with Tony and learns he's not getting a second series, Tony's reasons are worded almost exactly as Lynn predicted word-for-word. On the best way to spend a date (to his son):"Fernando, youre 22 years old and youre spending yourSaturday afternoon in bed with a girl, youre wasting your life. Not my words, Michael, the words of Shakin Stevens. Before that he was Deputy Editor of Mashable UK in London. Alan Partridge: I'm not haggling! Lynn, I pierced my foot on a point! The beginning of 'Alpha Papa' finds The Partridge in sweet motion at the wheel. And here are some of his most salient thoughts on cars 'Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa' is out on DVD and Blu-ray from Monday 2 December. Alan Partridge: Well, it wouldn't have been round. Lynn: Good. 2023. The SAG Awards are this weekend, but where can you stream the show? - It's Alan Partridge's Best Quotes - and how you can revisit the classics for free. Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net! Alan Partridge: Sorry, Michael, that was just a noise. Uphill races become commonplace, while overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long-term affair. Strawberries and cream. Go and eat some coffee. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. That was soft rock cocaine enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mac. That is the icing on the cake. And not a very good book. On reciprocal tender messages of affection: Sonja: "Alan, I love you." Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say 'Go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny'? Alan Partridge: Because because you do this all the time. Michael: Yeah, well, I suppose technically y'could, aye. On rejection: "Actually the best thing I did, was to get thrown out by my wife. I'd gan back to school. In 2006, she took the leading role of housewife and gang queen Barbara Du Prez in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout. Although she occcasionally stood up to him,she was shot down by his skewed reasoning and banal putdowns. Can I have my sausages burnt to a crisp, please? Alan Partridge: You know what this room says to me? The latest on your favourite shows and stars delivered straight to your inbox. But I suppose shes a bit like Burt Reynolds. My marriage fell apart soon after that. Alan Partridge, Alan Partridge: Nomad 1 likes Like "A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. The ratings were a ninth of what we could have expected, they started badly, they got worse Alan Partridge: [mimicking him] They started badly, they got worse Oh, oh, your programs, your programs Tony Hayers: Now, you're making a fool of yourself. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! The human brain comprises 70% water, which means it's a similar consistency to tofu. Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? Michael: [Speaking too quickly] Ye knaw, what ah reckon is that, if they had the'selves proper jobs, they wouldn't be up to all this, y'know, larkin' every night. I love this house. Use a sausage as a breakwater. I do enjoy these chats in the morning. I can read you like a book. Two fat ladies, 88! Tim Chester was Senior Editor, Real Time News in Los Angeles. Even more exciting, it has now been confirmed that Alans loyal yet long-suffering PA Lynn Benfield will also be returning for the new chat spoof. I think we all did. If I squeeze it, a squirt of melted Bramley apple will shoot out. But theres no affection, maintains Alan. Hey, it reminds me of this time, y'know, we'd camouflaged ourselves up cos we were doing jungle exercises, right, out in Belize, but Alan Partridge: [interrupting] Michael, can we talk about this in the morning? Hello, Tony. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going.". I've, I've just bought a house. Its one of British comedys most unlikely will-they-wont-they scenarios. But then at the last minute Michael: He pulls a ripcord, right? ", Alan after drinking his signature cocktail: Oooh Ladyboys!, Alan about Lynn: Lynns a good worker. Still, good news about the chocolate oranges. Jill, what do you think of the pedestrianization of Norwich city center? And then I just tilt the helicopter over to one side and the machine-gun bullets is chewing up the drive, right? It's not the Gulf War. When I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big hole. So they ride the money, bang a few heads together. Another reason why Lynn is such a memorable character is Montagus performance. Now, Alison, you are a lady, I don't want this to be unpleasant Alan Partridge: Yeah, you're a rotten sh*t too, get your coat! Cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for Alan. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. Er, I know some of you may be religious and to those people I apologi- Sorry. Erm, drink it. We could sort these pies right away. Do I look like I suffer from panic attacks? Bang! ago. I sat on the edge of the bath, sobbing and eating a pork pie until the pie was gone - at which point I felt a heck of a lot better. Mashable is a registered trademark of Ziff Davis and may not be used by third parties without express written permission. Before that, he was Deputy Editor at NME.COM, overseeing content and development on the London-based music and entertainment site. Take her out to a local fort or a Victorianfolly. Watching Im Alan Partridge, its hard to believe that Lynn and Montagu are the same person. Alan Partridge: Well, I'll live with that. The Galaxy Tab S7+ is back at its all-time low price plus more of the best deals of the day, Get a Roomba S9+ and Braava Jet m6 for under $1,000 plus more of today's best deals, Today's best deals include an Apple Watch Series 7 at its lowest price ever, a cheap Ninja blender, and more, It's time to put 'The Bachelor' out to pasture, Warner Bros. My girlfriend's 33. But it was different for me, like, cos, you know, ah was in the army when I was seventeen. Alan Partridge: Pity, because they were very keen on that one. Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now fuck off! Alan Partridge : They've rebadged it, you fool! Y'know, a lot a' them's from broken hawmes. The STANDS4 Network . Alan Partridge: [expanding a dining table] Yes, it's an extender! Which ironically is like a large petrol station. Kids like to go to the zoo but the beasts I like to look at are made of zinc galvanised steel - they're cars. But this isn't BritainThis is der Autobahn! Alan Partridge is never short of a quip or a quote for any situation, and he has loads of love and dating advice for this Valentine's Day. Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? Lynn is probably the most important supporting character in the Alan Partridge universe. He also thinks Wings was Paul McCartneys best band. As I'm sure, er, as I'm sure you are, sir. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. 20052023 Mashable, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Two chocolate mousses. Alan Partridge: Lynn! Range Rover blackened, a little muscle. By NME Blog. 19. My mother and father were having the row to end all rows. Partridge literally puts a whole hunk of cheese in the face of fictional BBC editor Tony Hayers after rejecting his ideas for a new TV show. Did you see that!? Want to shop from more small businesses? I am standing by a graveside, the wind whistling through my hair like a wind whistle. In Series 1, Lynnsrepeated attempts to sabotage Alans evening with Jill are apparent, and her reasons for her loyalty in the face of so little money her salary eventually rises to 9,500 could easily be based in romance. Tony Hayers: Why would I want to do that? The problem is what it doesn't say, Endeavour's final series is off to a classy and comforting start, Phew! What does that say to you about regional detective series? Alan Partridge: Stand down, at ease you're not in the army anymore. Alan Partridge: Um. Web. Very reliable but shes got a moustache., A cool head is required by all in 'Alpha Papa', Alan on the 4:30am radio slot: Some people call it the graveyard slot and theyre people who are bitter. 20. And I've listened to your ideas, I've listened to them all, and I haven't liked a single one. She's 14 years younger than me. I'm not playing that again. Personal assistant 8. Gladiators Jet to host a Millennium Barn Dance at Yeovil Airfield. Correctly watched. Classic Conversation to Lynn about Dan "Dan's a fantastic man . And so after a final flurry scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit I stop scratching. Mmm smells. Alan Partridge: [Walking up the stairs of the house he's looking at, which have wooden bannisters] It's very Cluedo this house, isn't it? Everyone's here. Partridge has survived as co-host of the show, a perfect parody of current affairs programmes such as The One Show and Good Morning Britain (with Alan a less secure version of Piers Morgan,. I heard a bit of commotion. Alan Partridge: [Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. Details Fairly detailed. And that, was a gooooooal! Alan Partridge: Whoa! Alan Partridge: Oh, I know, I am a bit mad. Share it in the comments. Back of the net!" 8. That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. I can imagine Buck Rogers taking a dump on that. tv shows Supporting Coogan are Felicity Montagu as his faithful but timid personal assistant, Lynn Benfield; Simon Greenall as Geordie handyman Michael; and Phil Cornwell as Partridge's rival DJ Dave Clifton. Goodreads helps you follow your favorite authors. Whether quoting bits of Casualty as medical advice after Alan pierces his foot on a spike, sourcing the Toffos as Alan delivers a careers talk, or taking on tax inspectors after her bosss fraudulent claim on a ticket to see Shrek, shes always there to help when she can. Here are some of the finest Partridge words of wisdom: On his drinking habits: "All. By signing up to the Mashable newsletter you agree to receive electronic communications Tony Hayers: [smiling amiably] You know, I don't think you should see your future just at the BBC, Alan. Alan Partridge: If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that you're very much mistaken. She's my favourite. ", Alan responds to Irish history: If it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day you will pay the price if youre a fussy eater., Alan responds to being fired: Smell my cheese!, Alan on the Daily Mail: Its arguably the best newspaper in the world. Don't shine that torch in my face, mate. I wasn't an evil person. Id spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music of every genre Britrock, heavy maiden, gang rap, brakebeat. In volleyball, if you win a rally, you get one point. Alan Partridge: [raising his wine glass] Here's to our future relationship at the BBC. Alan Partridge: [while having sex] Do you mind if I talk? Tony Hayers: It's not bollocks. Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. Prior to joining Mashable, Tim was a Senior Web Editor at Penguin Random House, helping to relaunch the Rough Guides website and other travel brands. Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! So, iou be Tony Hayers. Alan Partridge: Yes, please. A filter through which his most destructive idiosyncrasies can become bearable. I'm Alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci. Can I No, in fact I'll just repeat the question. Alan Partridge: Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. On now as we look at a fantastic year for - I'm going to be sick again. I remember a beach vacation in Prestatyn. And the bad news? He runs up on to the garage roof. [He laughs and leaves the room] Alan Partridge: Most times. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Listened to them all, and I have my sausages burnt to classy. 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